Working Out

So I've started it...the whole working out and trying to really track some good activity points.  Let me just say...this is rough! I feel like someone ran me over, litereally.  My back is hurting and muscles I wasn't sure I had any longer are letting me know they are unhappy with the new changes.  I've tried telling them to just suck it up..but they refuse to listen! Stepped on someone elses scale today..not sure how accurate it is...but if it's right I'm down another 5lbs for the week! YIIPPPEEEE!!! So maybe this whole sweating to death while I can't breathe thing is worth it....   Need to remind self...WATER!! Lots of that stuff... Hard to remember sometimes when I am running around like crazy...but meh, gots to do it!! Ugh, just coughed and felt like my stomach muscles were going to literally explode....it burns! :) Yes a smiley face, that is me trying to tell myself to quit b**ching.  It IS worth it, it's just such a long process..I mean who thought to make food taste so dang good! I swear I can look at chocolate and my stomach expands! I work out and diet for weeks and lose a little, I could gain it all back if I ate a big meal!! I know not really...but dang sometimes it really feels like it.  Does anyone else feel like that? I am beginning to envy those ppl who are addicted to working out.  How does that become addictive? I just don't get it...wish I was a tiny bit like that...but don't truly understand it in the least! I love looking better and clothes fitting better..but I don't think WHOOHOO can't WAIT to go work out again...SOOOOOO NOT ME!

Starting out

So...dieting...yeah...it's great.  (yes, sarcasm...) You know how people say you should eat to live and not live to eat, well I believe the opposite.  I cook for people I love because I want to show them that I do.  Words are awesome, but a bacon egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast shows you! :) I know, I could probably find all matter of other things that show this...but I'm GOOD at it.  I love to cook and see people scrape their plates! So now how do I do that in the healthiest way possible....? I know, there are plenty of healthy recipes and things you can cut back on.  But please, you know that a LOT of the time it does taste different! So how did I come to decide that I need to eat healthy and the whole diet thing.  I'm getting hitched! I love the fact that I am and I'm excited about it.  I don't wanna look back several years from now and say...sheeeessshhh WHAT SIZE IS THAT DRESS!! I know my soon to be hubby loves me and wants me..I mean he did put a ring on my finger when I was this size...but that doesn't mean I want to be this size! Losing weight has made me feel better, and look at things a  little different.  It's hard! I'm full, I don't NEED to eat anymore...but dang, that chocolate chip cookie, or cake, or cheese, or chili dog looks freaking DELICIOUS!! So I try to make myself think of eating something else. Ok, so it's an apple..YAH! meh, yeah it was good...but was it really what I wanted..not so much! I have lost 16 pounds and I love that, but I keep thinking...do I really have to eat like this the rest of my life? hmmmmmm   :(   I know,  I need to change my thinking about how I eat...but how? Yes you can tell me how I'm hurting my body by eating that fake stuff, and I'm going to have to worry about health problems if I gain a lot more weight...but STILL!!! You know....  


So thinking about this I have to tell you something.....

The other day I was thinking about honeymoon ^-^!!! Well I picture me laying around doing NOTHING for several days....only how I'm picturing myself...yeah not how I look in the mirror.  I see oversize one-shoulder sweater with undies and cute bra.  Nice to lay around and read in right? Only what I'm picturing is about 3 sizes too small for me right now and the ta-ta's are a lot firmer looking...well nothing I can do about that...lol! (two kids...breastfeeding...)  BUT...the size of that sweatshirt...maybe there is something I can do! So ww it is...been doing good so far! It has been rough and let me say that PMS is NOT helping right now! So backsliding is happening! I keep rationalizing and rationalizing...but I don't think that will keep the lb's off....

wish me luck..I'm gonna need it!